Thursday, May 06, 2010

Competition :D

Better get your Comedy brains rattleing for this one :D Because Its Time for our first COMPETITION!! TA DA (boom) - cough that wasn't surpost to happen - XD

Yes its Competition time woot woot!

We wanna know what joke makes your funny bones tingle and in order for us to know that we wanna KNOW YOUR FUNNIEST JOKES PEOPLE!!!!! Yes its true we wanna know whats the funniest joke you have ever been told. It can be something like the old classics:

Knock Knock
Whos There?
Ivonna who?


Why did the whale cross the ocean?
I don't know why?

We don't care as long as its funny and makes people laugh :D

Of course the funniest joke will be posted as our qoute with your name next to it of course (we couldn't take credit that wouldn't be fair) And wait for it you  guys........(goes to bathroom)...............You CAN CHOOSE ANYTHING UNDER 3,000 CROWNS O: O: O: WOAH WOAH BACKING UP!!!


So What you waiting for post your joke away :D and stand a chance to win. Like I always say to myself If your not in it you don't stand a chance of wining it :D

Closing date will be on the 30th of May where we will narrow it down to only 3 jokes :P Which we will post into our poll at Let You YES YOU decide on the funniest :D

Note: Only followers may be in a chance of wining and entering this compitition as it is easier to contact them :D (So just press the big old follow button and you can enter :D) Also MAXIMUM of 3 Jokes per person!

P.S. There will be further compitions just like this but with even better prizes like um -coughs- Mounts -coughs- Crown clothes ........... So Come ON Enter now :D


  1. I'm going to enter 3 jokes, cause I can't decide.

    1. I want to die sleeping, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the people in his car.

    2. Are dumb blonde jokes okay?
    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are all in a bar, illegally drinking. The police come in, and the bartender quickly shoves each girl in a burlap sack. The brunette is in a sack that says "cats" on the outside. The police come and poke her sack, and she says, "meow, meow". "Oh, just a cat," they say, and move on to the next sack, which is marked "dogs". "Woof, woof" goes the redhead. "Oh, just a dog" they say. Then they come to the blonde's sack, which is marked "potatoes". "Po-ta-to. Po-ta-to!" Shouts the blonde from the inside.

    3. 3 athletes, Don, John, and Doug (who isn't particularly smart) are trying to get into the olympics. They aren't very good, so they try to sneak in the back gate. After a while, they see a real olympic athlete go up to the guard and state his name and sport. The guard lets him in. "So all we have to do," says Don, "is say our name and sport!" Don finds a small tree and strips the bark off. He goes up to the guard and says, "Don Smith, javelin." The guard falls for it and lets him in. Next goes John. He finds a small round rock, goes up to the guard, and says, "John Baker, shot put." The guard lets him in. Don and John high-five each other, and then they realize that they left stupid Doug outside. They see Doug come up to the guard with a roll of barbed wire. "Oh no..." they say. "Doug McKinley," says Doug, "fencing."

  2. Lol I love the Jokes Kestrel, I will mark you down as entry for all three of them separately :D and yes blonde jokes are okay. Any joke is okay except for rude and racist jokes.

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  4. This is abt W101 (wizard101) lol...

    I sent this to you on twitter (except #2 and #3) etc just leaving the comment here to qualify.
    *Ahem* 1)Why is Cyrus Drake bald?! A orthrus blew off all his hair! No wonder it has gone in Wizard City history books!

    2)(Joking not intentionally sry life guys) Moolinda Wu, current life professor why are you so fat?! Most of your students have the right lifesytle to make it by... but, well you need to run laps around the pet derby! :O

    3) Damn, it minotaur! What the heck is your problem?! Trying to cut my body in half... (Joking sry abt the "damn" part...)

  5. Sry, I posted other comments I had some bad misspelling in there lol...

  6. 1) Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
    "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"

  7. 2) If it takes ten men 3 hours to dig one hole, how many men does it take to dig half a hole in the same amount of time. You can't dig half a hole! It would just be a different sized hole

  8. Ok, Here's a dumb blonde joke that is making people crack up a LOT!

    So, there's a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde all on a survival show. The brunette goes into the jungle, and comes back with a rabbit.
    The blonde and redhead say, "WHOA! How'd you catch that?"
    "I just followed the tracks and caught it," The brunette replies.
    The next day the redhead goes out into the jungle, and comes with a caught deer.
    "WHOA! Now, how'd you catch THAT?" The brunette and blonde say.
    "I just followed the tracks and caught it," The redhead replies simply.
    So the day after that, the blonde heads out, thinking she's gonna catch something even bigger. But she comes out, all bruised up and scraped and, well, you get the picture.
    The brunette and redhead say, "What happened to YOU?"
    The blonde replies sadly, "I followed the tracks: I found a train."

    That's joke 1!

  9. Joke 2:

    A doctor and a bus driver are in love with a girl. The bus driver has to leave on a bus trip for a week. Before he goes, he gives her seven apples. Why did he do that?

    Cause an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

  10. Hi It's Mary Dreamshade and I have a joke.

    Ok so there were 2 muffins in one oven. One of the muffins say "Boy it's HOT in here." Then the other muffin exclaims "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!"

  11. Hi It's Mary again and I have another joke.

    There were 3 kids playing in a backyard. Their names were Doo-Doo, Manners and Shut-up, very odd names. So one day Doo-Doo fell into a ditch. While Manners tried to help him out, Shut-Up went to get help. He went up to a police officer and said "Mr Mr I need your help!" The officer responds "Sure thing son, but can you please tell me your name?" So what do you think he replied? "Shut-Up" rThe officer gasped "Excuse Me, where are your Manners?" And Shut- Up then responded "Helping Doo-Doo out of the ditch."

  12. Alex Dragonsong in da house, and I have a dumb-blonde joke for you! (

    A man is doing a ventriloquist act, and does a dumb blonde joke. Suddenly, a woman stands up in the audience and says,`Why do you people say jokes like this. It is imposing that all blondes are dumb and is insulting to woman in all!' The man is about to apologize when the blonde says,`You stay out of this mister, I was talking to the little guy on your lap!'

  13. As Ambrose was telling me well done "You beat Mallistaire We can all rest easy now" I'm beat whoopy
    The next day theres this HUGE parade for me Beating himYEAH
    the next day my friend asks
    " Can you help me beat Mallistaire?"

  14. Hi its Donato and...
    Well its worth a try... Ahem...

    Try to think the correct answer "why?"

    "An old man is selling ice cream at the platform, the plane passed by, the old man died. Why did he die?

    Because:he died thinking the correct answer :P

  15. Okay, here are a few jokes.

    1. Bob forgot his anniversary again and his wife was FURIOUS!

    "If I don't see a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in five seconds by tomorrow morning, boy are YOU are going to be in trouble!" she roared.

    The next morning Bob woke up early and went to work, as always. His wife got up soon afterwards and walked outside to get the newspaper. When she looked around, but saw only a small, colorfully wrapped box sitting smack in the middle of the driveway. She opened it up, and inside was a... bathroom scale.

  16. 2. A middle-aged couple sat in their living room. The wife asked her husband, "On a scale of one to ten, with one being the prettiest and ten being the ugliest, how pretty do you think I am?"

    Her husband replied, "Hmm...
    Based on your hair, 3.
    Based on your eyes, 5.
    Based on your complexion, 4.
    Based on your figure, 2.
    Based on your clothes, another 4."

    His wife said, "Aawwww, that's so sweet! and so... romantic!"

    Her husband cut in, "Wait, honey! I haven't added them all up yet!

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  18. 4. Q. How do you kill a blonde?

    A. By putting a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

    My friend made that one up (I think...)

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  20. 1)knock knock
    who's there
    john who
    John windbreaker

    2)knock knock
    who's there
    luis who
    luis windshield
    note: this are REAL wizard names
    3)Knock, knock

    Who's there?

    You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?

    You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?

    Nevermind, it's pointless.

  21. lol this is cracking me up here is mine.

    A man was entering a fancy ballroom with a friend. They both had their dogs. They see a sign that says no dogs allowed so acting cool the first man goes up puts on a dark pair of sunglasses and says, "I'm blind this is my seeing eye dog."

    " A Doberman your seeing eye dog is a Doberman."

    "Yes they are very popular nowadays." replies the man.

    The guard allows the dog to come in.

    the next man walks up to the guard with dark sunglasses as well and says, " I'm blind this is my seeing eye dog."

    The guard then says, " A chihuahua your seeing eye dog is a chihuahua."

    The man replied saying, "A Chihuahua they gave me a Chihuahua!?!?!?"

  22. Okay here's a couple of jokes that go together. Ahem.
    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Interupting cow.

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Chicken with an identity crisis.
    Chicken with an---


  23. I got a lot of jokes, most of them are long, so have patience:

    1. There was recently a fundraiser event in the park for "AWARENESS THAT BLONDES AREN'T DUMB, INC," and a bunch of blondes were there. A guy was there giving a speech and called a blonde up to the stage. "We can prove that blondes are just as smart as everyone else! So tell me, what's 12+4?" After a minute, she hesitantly said "23?". "" Then the crowd of blondes shouted "C'mon, give her another chance!" "OK, then, what's 3+3?" After a while, the blonde responded "6?" The crowd started ranting again "Give her another chance!"

    2. A group of four friends who were 20 were trying to decide where to go out to eat. They decided on FountainView Cafe, because the waitresses there were hot. At 40, they decided FountainView Cafe because it brought back fond memories. At 60, they decided on Fountainview Cafe because they had easy wheelchair access. At 80, they decided on FountainView Cafe because none of them had ever been there before.

    3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

    4. A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
    She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
    The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am,"replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met but, somehow, now it's my fault."


  24. macaroniman17 the last joke was a little to much

  25. (Name "Nonya Business" on followers, idk why...)

    Chatting on Wizard101:

    Friend: Today is a happy day at the bay and you are gee ay, so I have nothing to say

    Me: ... ... ... ... ...

    Friend: I can't tell if your expressing shocked silence or just swearing at me through the chat filter

    LAUGH MY ... ... OFF!

  26. Oh, only three jokes? Then take out #1&3 I guess for mine

  27. ok i've been telling this joke for as long as i can remember

    3 guys go hunting in the woods.
    The first guy goes in and comes back out with a big deer
    The other 2 guys ask "Where did you get the big deer?"
    The first guy replies "Me see tracks, me follow tracks, BOOM i shoot deer"
    The second guy goes into the woods and comes back with a huge bear
    The other guys ask "Where did you get the huge bear?"
    The second guy replies "Me see tracks, me follow tracks, BOOM i shoot bear"
    The third guy goes into the woods and comes back with a lot of bumps and bruises
    The other guys ask "Where did you get all the bumps and bruises?"
    The third guy replies "Me see tracks, me follow tracks, BOOM i get hit by train"

    HAHAHHAHA =] hope you liked it

  28. Oh, we can have three jokes? Here;s two more:

    A big city lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
    As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here." The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers around, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own. The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in these parts. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?" The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face. The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"

    Deja Who?
    Deja clue: The feeling that Mr. Green has done it in the billiard room with the lead pipe before.
    Dijon Vu: The same mustard as yesterday
    Deja Moo: The feeling I've heard this bull before
    Deja poo: The feeling I've stepped in this before.
    Deja two: The feeling that I've experienced this before, twice.
    Deja you: The feeling that YOU have experienced this before.
    Deja zoo: The feeling that the monkey has done this in public before.
    Deja Ew/goo: The feeling that I had to clean up your messes before!

  29. Just started :) Hope you like 'em.

    1) Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
    A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
    After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"

    2) A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."
    The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"
    The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

    3) A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. The bum says, "Mister, can you spare a dollar?"
    The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, "If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?"
    "No," says the bum.
    The man then asks, "If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?"
    Again the bum says, "No."
    So the man says to the bum, "Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn't drink or gamble?"

    Hope you enjoyed! :D

    PS: @Kathleen- Oh, and your joke sounds a lot similar like Alyssa's joke. Just an FYI.

  30. Okay, I hope not many of you have heard this one before.

    1) There once was a donut on a cruise ship, and the donut's biggest wish was to drive the ship. So he goes up to the captain and says, "Hey. My biggest dream is to steer a ship, so will you please let me?"
    The captain says, "I'm sorry, but I can't let you. You're a donut and you don't even have hands."
    So the donut is sad, but he doesn't give up. The next day he goes to the captain again and says, "Please, can I drive this ship? It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do."
    The captain says, "I've already told you that I can't let you do that! If you ask again I'll throw you off the ship."
    So the donut is sad again. The next day is his birthday, so he decides to try one last time, but as soon as he asks, the captain says, "You know, I told you yesterday that if you asked again I'd throw you off the ship." So the captain throws the donut off the ship.

    2) A couple was walking along the bluffs by the ocean. It was a very romantic setting because it was the evening that the boy decided to propose. At just the right moment, he goes in front of her and gets on one knee. Holding up a ring, he says, "Will you marry me?"
    Just at that moment, an extremely violent wind blows and knocks the ring out of the boy's hand and into the ocean. However, the girl is very happy and they agree to marry.
    On their honeymoon, they go out to a seafood restaurant to eat dinner. The wife orders a lobster. When the waiter brings it, she cuts it open and guess what was inside?

    The donut!

  31. email:

    1. I don't know if this qualifies as a "joke":
    (This is original; by me) Guy with a party hat, glasses, nose, mole, mustache, buckteeth, buttchin, and goatee...........

    2. Once I tried to walk into Target for some groceries, but I missed.

    3. One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.
    The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON.